Yes, I am starting a COS (Close of Service) countdown, and there are 100 weeks left to go!
Every PCV has a countdown of some sort, whether it’s months, weeks or just days until we complete our service, until we leave the country for vacation, until we go home to America, until we are out of the ‘shloks (“Kishloks” – rural villages), until we pick up packages or mail, you name it – we’re all counting down to something. (Some have been known to count the second hand until lunch!)
Being in Peace Corps is proving to be an ambivalent thing, especially in the beginning. At once, I am seeking something in this experience that is unsurpassed anywhere else, yet often I am overcome by the difficulties of being immersed in a foreign culture, and being truly alone like never before – some days are so long that two years is forever. There is also the feeling of uselessness during this stage when I am not able to make an immediate impact, or my value is unperceivable and immeasurable. As a result, there is a constant voice that is saying, “Why the &%#! am I here???” – some days, its louder than others.
Naturally, I cope by finding any scraps of optimism I can, even if its merely comfort in a number – like anything less than 100 is doable.
…I can’t wait until next week - 99!!!
