It’s not even November yet but all my weekends are booked full for the month!…starting with this coming weekend in NYC to hang out with a girlfriend, see a photo exhibition, attend a birthday bash, and feast at a Sunday brunch. Next comes a weekend in Belleport, Long Island, with friends and their one year old baby girl. Then a trip to Newport, Rhode Island, for a special birthday treat for me ; ), followed by a weekend in Albany, New York, to see my mother’s new house. Then I think it’ll be Thanksgiving and my niece’s fifth birthday, and we’re already on the brink of December.
In between, I’m tasked with renting my apartment, selling my car, packing up my furniture and belongings, moving it all into storage and moving myself somewhere temporarily until January 15th, preparing and packing for Uz, changing my address on everything, and spending as much time with my family as I can.
Emotionally, I continue to struggle with the mental preparations of living in a new world, one where I have been advised to show up late to drinking functions, learn to throw vodka shots behind my back without getting noticed, and know how and when to give bribes to local officials, bus drivers, and to whoever can ensure my safe journey. Closer to home, I have been blessed with a marriage proposal I don’t know what to do with given the impending distance that will be placed between us. How do two people stay together in such uncertain circumstances? How do I fit another person into such an insane way of living? Yet, how can I live without the security and luxury of love along the lonely roads I take? And why is all of this happening to me NOW?!
I feel like I’m trying to swallow two life-times in one big gulp! Hopefully, I’ll be able to chase all of it down with a healthy dose of happiness.
Congratulations...and good luck with your decision.
Ben and I had a long courtship, a long-distance relationship, and then a very long distance relationship. Then I dragged him to the other side of the planet. We're still together. I don't think it's due entirely to "true love", but also due to the hard work we put into it. The one thing that makes it worth it, if you are someone at ease with fidelity, is that you never, ever take each other for granted.
Good luck!
Posted by: Marya Morevna | 10/28/2003 at 09:04 AM
You are sure packing a lot into your last weeks! Take lots of pictures so that you have them to help you through your transition. Three weeks there, and you will be looking at them and wondering if that was really you back then! You're doing the right thing IMHO, and I believe that you and he will know soon enough why, however things shake out between you.
BTW, got your comment: it was the strangest quirk that brought this arrangement about. Dh was in the high-tech industry here in the Silicon Valley when it all went bust (and I was pregnant with our third). He then spent most of a year sending out hundreds of resumes (as were most of our friends) and finally we came to have a firm grasp on the obvious: I had a great job, it was secure after having been there 10 years, it could just cover the bills, and we could do without day care! Wow! Just what we always wanted--just swapping intended roles. It's actually working well, and I do notice lots of others in our situation. I don't care how it works--I'm just glad it does!
M
Posted by: Mindy | 10/27/2003 at 09:00 PM
It will all work out - don't worry! (If he is the right one, he will still be there when you get back)
Posted by: Wendy | 10/27/2003 at 05:55 PM