#10
I don’t think road improvements are a good idea in Uzbekistan. It makes people drive faster and more reckless, especially towards pedestrians. Before, I could at least stand behind a pothole or open manhole and not have speeding cars careen towards me like they do now.
#9
Speaking of manholes, most of the ones here are missing covers, which is why I don’t walk around at nighttime. Where did they go, I wonder? And who takes them all? I fully expect to fall into one…at some point.
#8
Uzbek food is bad for your teeth. My back molars have fissures from stones in the rice, bones in most meat dishes, and chips of fruit pits found in jam. There is also no fluoride here to save your pearly whites. Thus, the golden smiles.
#7
Hamburgers are pronounced gamburgers (because H in Cyrillic is pronounced like a hard “g” – never mind). But if you order one, you will get a chicken sandwich – because that is what they are called. Beats me.
#6
Whenever I feel like eating a salad, I go for an Uzbek hot-dog (pronounced got-dog. see above). Buns are filled with shaved carrots, cabbage, beets, tomatoes, cucumbers, and – if you can find it – a hotdog. If you order a salad in a cafÈ or restaurant, it will always come mixed with lots of mayonnaise. Better to get yourself a got-dog to be healthy.
#5
You can only buy pieces of frozen chicken here, even then, only the leg attached to the thigh is for sale. Where are all the other parts? I don’t know. It’s all a mystery to me – just like the manhole covers.
#4
Ice cream bars are readily available here, but not cold drinks, nor ice. Hmmmm.
#3
There is no such thing as a “quick” hello here because it takes you five minutes just to finish the common greeting, which is spoken continuously and simultaneously between you and everyone else present. The trick is never try to answer their questions. Just continue to say your greeting until everyone stops, then answer the last question you heard and then say, “And you?”. Translated, it goes something like this: “Peace be unto you. (And also with you) Are you fine? How are you? Are you healthy? Is your health fine? Are you working? (or…going? coming? – whatever they/you are doing) You’re not tired, are you? Is your family fine? Are you healthy?…(repeat if not everyone is finished yet)” And the whole thing ends with everyone saying, “Fine, thank you.” “Fine, thank you.” “Fine, thank you.” “Fine” “Fine” “Fine” repeatedly, until everyone finally stops.
#2
And in familiar settings, when you arrive or just returned from someplace, people say, “You came?” Sometimes I’m tempted to answer, “No. Actually, I didn’t!”
#1
I am 36 years old, but Uzbeks still call me a “girl” = “kiz”. That’s because I’m not married and, therefore, I must be a virgin. Only married non-virgins are called “women” = “ayol”. But any waitress, virgin or not, are called “good girls” = “yakshi kiz”.
Ok, I guess there are 11…but this one is my favorite…
The word that means “empty” is the same word for one’s “head”, which makes “brainless” = “bosh bosh” and aptly describes the powers that designated such synonyms.
Very funny. :)
Thank you
just some small details: you are right about calling hamburger a gamburger, but actually hotdog is always called hotdog, both in Russian and Uzbek, not got-dog, though certainly in English got-dog sounds funnier..:)
then 'empty' and 'head' dont sound similar in Uzbek. Empty is Bo'sh, the "o" isnt o, but a mixture of "o" and "u", as for "head", you are right it is indeed o, i.e. bosh..:)
Posted by: Alisher | 10/09/2004 at 04:42 AM